Category: Rugby

Wait, there are entire nations who don't think the England-US game is the most important game of the tournament? I find this troubling.

I thought about calling this one "Group B for Bawful," but I think if someone had told Nigeria when the game actually started we could have had a classic.

We certainly had a goalkeeping classic. Vincent Eneyama kept Argentina from putting up a basketball score. The only goal was from a hilarious corner kick defense. Joseph Yobo should get an assist. At least wave at Heinze as he goes by you, Joseph. I still feel bad for Efon Ekoku – first he botches the offside call, then he gets to be a Nigeria homer. When Adrian Healey asked him who he thought would win between England and the US, I seriously thought he'd say "I don't give a crap! I got my own team, and they're stinking it up!"

Maybe there's something to this whole ball nonsense, because you never saw such awful passing. I thought I was watching the Wiz and the Crew in 1996.

And maybe there's something to this whole nerves nonsense – but I think I read somewhere that Diego Milito has played in big games at some point. Remind me to Google his name so I can double-check.

So once Argentina settles down and gains confidence, they will convert those chances and march grandly to the final. Yeah, because they have such a calming influence running the show.

But it does look like Argentina will get out of the group. Since Greece looks like they're going to be an ATM for points.

When Lee Jung-soo scored thanks to, surprise, lousy corner kick defense, I thought it was the best thing possible – now Greece would be forced to go forward, and we'd see an exciting game.

Well, to be fair, it was exciting. But all I could think about was what a Eurocentric racist I was for assuming that just because Greece won their group with a strong defense, they would have a strong defense for the World Cup. As an American, Park Ji-sung goals make me very happy. But as a fan, I'm sort of wondering at what point Otto Rehhagel coached weak square passes across the middle in the defensive third.

And I should really have not written off Korea – the good Korea – and I should have realized that if Park Ji-sung is still around, there might be a reason for that. Well, I thought the reason was "There's no one better" (cf., American forwards, 1998 and 2006).

So both Nigeria and Argentina should also roll Greece, so Korea is the wild card here. (Contrary to my bracket, which already lies in ruins. What is this, NCAA basketball?) The stats for teams who win their first game advancing to the next round are really daunting – roughly nine out of ten since the field expanded to 32. But it's nowhere near certain – ask the Czech Republic. These games could go all over the place. Including the Greece games, at least for comedy value.

So speaking of other games – Beau Dure of Sports Myriad has asked me to tag along for tomorrow morning's Serbia-Ghana game. Stop on by! It should be hilarious. Beau isn't ONLY doing the Serbia-Ghana game, of course – he's doing pretty much every game, with a rotating cast of sidekicks. I'm going to try not to make any genocide jokes, but I make no promises.

Back in the beginning, I used to tell people that Major League Soccer was the first "internet sport".

By that I simply meant that instead of sitting around bemoaning the fact that the sports editors of Americas' Daily Dead Tree media weren't willing to give them the time of day, let alone a couple of inches of their precious page space every now and then, MLS should bypass that entire class of troglodyte jock sniffers ("The Braves just traded for a backup utility infielder? Great. We can cut that sillyass MLS Cup report to make some room on page one.") and use this terrific new tool that lets you speak directly to your audience without having to beg some Aqua-Velva drenched Johnny Unitas fan for some attention.

Eventually of course they came up with a website that, while a bit cluttered and clumsy to navigate, had pretty much everything you wanted readily available. One hesitates to describe the thing as "user-friendly" but at the least it was a place to go for live scores, game previews, history, schedules, etc.

Little did me know that those were the good old days.

For the past few months MLS has been busily hiring layers and layers of people, starting with some slickster from Microsoft and continuing on through what is by now a cast of thousands, programmers, bloggers, writers, tech guys (and gals, I guess), editors, assistant editors and the normal component of MLS toadies who fetch coffee and suck up to everybody all day.

Hell, they even hired Greg Lalas, thus proving that in America today any idiot can find work if he really applies himself.

And so with great fanfare and obviously outrageous expense, the league has struggled mightily and brought forth the biggest pile of dog turds in the history of the internet, a useless, clunky, non-intuitive, information-free collection of pages which seem to consist of a) vast tracts of gray b) photos with juvenile headlines that link you to game previews which have no usable information and game summaries that tell you nothing about the game, along with videos that don't work or only work a little and a "Gametracker" feature with an incredibly exotic graphic display showing a huge green pitch and little uniforms with names on them but whose content consists of a) moronic "user comments" on the left and b) the worst game descriptions ever conceived.

Here's a sample of a Gametracker from yesterday:

46:42 Card Issued D.C. United Santino Quaranta

45:46 Foul Kansas City Wizards Jack Jewsbury

42:39 Foul Kansas City Wizards Josh Wolff

36:52 Foul Kansas City Wizards Matt Besler

34:33 Goal Kansas City Wizards Davy Arnaud

32:43 Foul Kansas City Wizards Matt Besler

32:28 Substitution D.C. United Clyde Simms

27:50 Shot Kansas City Wizards Josh Wolff

27:16 Card Issued D.C. United Kurt Morsink

Why it's almost like being there.

(Note to whatever halfwit is being paid actual money to type this drivel: shockingly, when you note a "substitution", two players are normally involved.)

There were some glitches and bugs, of course, like blacking out DC when the game wasn't on local TV. Credit where credit is due, they fixed that before the first half was over.

They also cut the Columbus/Toronto video at 75 minutes, thereby chopping away half the goals, but again, that's probably a matter of tweaking some things.

But where are the live scores? Why does it still say that Seattle/Philadelphia is tied at 0-0?

If the site is still in Beta, OK. I mean, nobody launches that way any more but if you want, go ahead.

But the old site, mlsnet.com, has apparently been utterly abandoned; as of this morning the most recent scores were from CCL games ten days ago and apparently Jeff Cunningham scored 17 goals yesterday to lead the league and set one hell of a record.

Meanwhile, all the old cool stuff, like the Quickkicks videos and such? They've vanished down the money hole where the MLS "Solve American Unemployment Plan" that Don Garber has launched to run this worthless dung heap is busily holding meetings or something.

They're sure not doing anything worthwhile.

It's not that there are some bugs to iron out. It's that it's poorly planned, poorly designed and seems to want to be the Tiger Beat of Professional soccer: long on flash and dash, painfully short on usable content.

The league is in the very best of hands.

I'm pleased to announce we have a guest for today's topic. Here to discuss the future of Chivas USA with me is Dr. Hari Seldon, professor of mathematics at the University of Streeling. Professor Seldon, thank you for joining us. HS: Your pleasure.

DL: Thank you, I – huh?

HS: I have read the materials you sent to me about Chivas USA. Your conclusion that the team cannot win in the long term is correct. Obvious, and childishly presented, but correct.

DL: Thank you, I – huh?

HS: Unless Guadalajara is overwhelmingly successful in Liga MX and in Copa Libertadores, and perhaps even the Club World Cup, then any hope for Chivas USA to obtain sufficient resources to compete in MLS is doomed before it starts. Guadalajara and Chivas USA cannot co-operate, and the situation is worsened by the illusion of co-operation. Quality players are a finite resource. Quality coaches are also finite. Quality managers and administrators – again, there are limited numbers of these. With Chivas, there are two mouths to feed, not one. Guadalajara will always lay claim to the better players, coaches, and administrators.

DL: But Chivas USA doesn't have the burdens of a Mexican-only policy. They can sign players from anywhere.

HS: A superficially good point, but it shows shallow thinking.

DL: Thank you, I – huh?

HS: The Mexican-only policy is a marketing tool. It does not significantly affect the quality of play. If Club America had established a subsidiary in MLS, they would have faced the same choices. Quality personnel brought to one club is by necessity not given to the other.

DL: Couldn't Jorge Vergara buy great, non-Mexican players for Chivas USA?

HS: Using money that could have been spent to improve Guadalajara?

DL: Could they discover new talent?

HS: Yes, provided Vergara creates an international scouting system entirely from scratch, a system which by definition will not benefit the mother club. Unless such an endeavor could be staffed entirely by volunteers, it will not be undertaken.

DL: But Chivas USA's youth system is the envy of the league.

HS: Yes, and who will pay the salaries of these fine young players? Assume for a moment their youth system turns out a star player every single year. Eventually, those players will want to be paid a proper salary. And even if they want to stay in the organization, the Mexican-American stars will be brought to Guadalajara to help the main team.

DL: So the Mexican identity strategy is bound to fail.

HS: No. All of their strategies are bound to fail. What we are seeing with Chivas USA are two separate, but related, negative feedback cycles. We have seen that Chivas USA's successes will transferred abroad, while their failures will stay in Carson. What we are seeing now is the second part of Chivas USA's destructive marketing cycle.

DL: Which is?

HS: Don't interrupt me. Step one, Chivas enters MLS promising to provide Mexican skill and talent. Fourth-rate Mexican talent from whatever Guadalajara feels it can spare loses all the time, and the target audience distances itself from the embarrassment. Step two, Chivas USA attempts a more inclusive, multi-national identity. Whatever is left of their original target audience is alienated for years to come. The new fans must make a conscious effort to avoid the associations of the parent brand – when expanding the parent brand was the original purpose of the club to begin with. This is made worse by the presence of the other MLS team.

DL: The Galaxy.

HS: They hardly represent the entire galaxy. In any case, the other team resists this attempt to drain their fanbase, and will make a significant response.

DL: Like signing Beckham.

HS: I see that "don't interrupt me" are words that hold no meaning for you.

DL: But couldn't Chivas USA have signed a Beckham?

HS: Any useful response would come at the cost of the Guadalajara club, and as such is impossible. The marketing now becomes shrill and bitter, openly disparaging the other club for its wealth.

DL: Pretty ironic, Chivas complaining about being outspent.

HS: Silence. The marketing centers around the club as a low-cost alternative to the other team. Unsurprisingly, the low-cost alternative fails to make money. The club now has fewer and fewer alternatives, and fewer and fewer resources to implement those alternatives. After a year or two of stagnancy –

DL: Is that a word? Shouldn't it be "stagnation?"

HS: Yes, it's a word, you twit. In any case, the club spirals downward into crisis, and the Guadalajara ownership must decide whether to keep the club going. Either Guadalajara admits defeat, or they try to implement the one advantage they feel they have. Which is the Guadalajara identity. And now we are back at step one.

DL: Can they rebrand, or move?

HS: No. Apart from admitting defeat, which the Guadalajara administration seems dead set against, all moving or rebranding would accomplish is to solve some marketing problems. Even if Guadalajara were to actually buy the other team and close it down, the necessity to support Guadalajara first and foremost will always be there. The MLS team will never be the top priority.

DL: What if they build their own stadium?

HS: "Dear Chivas fans, we have decided to spend millions of US dollars to build a stadium, instead of buying players to get beyond the first round of Liga MX." I suppose they could build their own stadium, provided Jorge Vergara never wants to set foot in Mexico again.

DL: So, they can't move, they can't stay, they can't rebrand, and they can't keep the name.

HS: There is one solution, of course. Promotion and relegation.

DL: What?!

HS: Promotion and relegation is the only viable option. Not just for Chivas USA, but for MLS as well. The thrill of relegation battles will make every game meaningful.

DL: I thought you were a mathematics expert! And Chivas fans aren't Chivas fans because they worry about relegation every season, are they?

HS: You see, true football fans –

DL: Oh, for -we're out of time. Merry Christmas.

HS: I realize the truth scares you, but-

DL: AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! GOOD NIGHT!

Well? Would you?

I'm gonna think about it and answer in John's conversation. But Uruguay-Ghana was basically the soccer equivalent of Satan tempting Jesus in the desert. Sure, Suarez made the King Herod choice…but there's a reason they're called temptations.

Brazil goes from prohibitive favorite from now until 2018, into a big steaming pile of Domenech, and that's not even the most interesting game of the day.

Whatever you think about Uruguay, and you probably have many opinions about them right now, let's not forget to list goalkeeper Fernando Muslera alongside Suarez and Abreu when we say "quelle testicles!"

I mean, look at this kid. He just turned 23. His first international was last October. And the guy was doing everything but mooning the poor Ghanaian penalty takers. He would stand there, arms folded, save the kick, then point at them and laugh.

Yes, I know the English, Italian, and Spanish languages all have many colorful descriptions for the sort of person who does that. But I think I may have a new all-time favorite goalkeeper.

And he'd probably say, "Shut up, Yankee blogger, I don't need your praise, I'm young and awesome."

And I'd probably say, "Yes. Yes, you are."

It would be even better if he was one of those guys who was shy and humble off the field, and turn into a complete snipe (anagram) in games…but I think this guy simply lives his gimmick. Maybe you now hate Uruguay so much, you're looking up things besides Forlan and Eduardo Galeano so you'll have more things to hate about Uruguay. But I, for one, will be watching Mr. Muslera's career with great interest.

The other thing that is worth considering is how Ghana feels right now…or rather, how history will treat them.

Let's go back to the "Did you go out like a bitch?" scale. For those of you who have just joined us, 1 is Slim Pickens as Major Kong riding the nuke in "Dr. Strangelove," and 100 is John Turturro as Bernie Birnbaum in "Miller's Crossing." So far this World Cup, England rated an 85 (Boba Fett in "Jedi," as detailed in the "Robot Chicken" sketch). Italy clocked in at 89 (Marvin in "Pulp Fiction"). France set a the modern record with a solid 98 (Martin Ferrero in "Jurassic Park").

At first blush, Ghana doesn't rate much better than a 20 (Joe Morton in "Terminator 2") – Asamoah Gyan has only himself to blame for missing the penalty. And Ghana started Samuel Inkoom, so we American fans can be forgiven for indulging a remarks along the lines of going around and coming around.

(Apropos of nothing, talk about a no-win situation in the shootout – if he had missed, he'd have been the Choking Pig Squared; since he made it, everyone was "where was that two minutes ago?" But I think that was Rajevac being Machiavellian. Gyan HAD to shoot first, because PK takers don't grow on trees, and if he had been given any time to think about it, or had to take a must-make attempt, the pressure would have crushed him. Missing the first kick would have theoretically been survivable, missing the third or fourth, not so much.)

But, Ghana lost in an iconic way. Uruguay not only cheated, they got away with it, and there's literally nothing anyone can do about it. This wasn't a referee mistake. There's no solution for this. Gyan blew the kick, but that's understandable, because there can't be more than a few thousand people alive who have lived through that kind of pressure.

Whenever people talk about painful World Cup losses, Ghana will be there, among the tragic immortals. My list is Hungary 1954, West Germany 1966 (well, except, it took until 2010 for anyone to really have any sympathy for Germany), Holland 1978 (most of the teams in 1978, actually), Algeria 1982, France 1982, and now Ghana 2010. Ghana's probably in the top two or three. Remember, they beat Uruguay. That ball was going in. It would have been one of the most incredible finishes in World Cup history even if Suarez hadn't gone Gabrielle Reece.

I made a joke after two games about calling this the worst World Cup ever – well, this may be the most amazingly heart-wrenching, and there are still five big-ass games left.

Ghana's national team program can go a couple of ways with this. They can decide that the ends justify the means, and turn the dark side in a way that would make Argentina blanch, or they can devote themselves to a level of sportsmanship unseen since the Corinthians were touring.

The sport badly needs heroes at this point – Holland and Brazil, the sport's aesthetic darlings, treated the planet to a glorified bar fight. The world is so ready for a team that publicly says "No diving, no cheating," and lives up to it, damn the consequences.

I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for Ghana, or any other team in the world, to do this. The rewards for winning are simply too great.

God, what a couple of games. I suppose I could make a joke about a group of Dutch extraction crushing the hopes of the majority through violence against multi-racial opposition being totally unheard of in South African history. But Nigel De Jong ruins that joke, like he does everything else. I'm so glad he'll miss the semifinal. I'm so sad he'll be eligible for the final.

Brazil…yeah, I don't get them. Just when I was about to accept that having the best team win wasn't necessarily a bad thing, and we shouldn't celebrate underdogs simply because they're not favored. Soccer underdogs, unlike scrappy little Cinderellas in other sports, tend to be pretty unwatchable. It's the favorites that have all the skill.

Sure, I was tired of knee-jerk Brazil jocking from people who think Robinho robs from the rich and gives to the poor, but Brazil really does have millions of sincere fans. Sure, since they'll be prohibitive favorites in 2014, we would have lived a significant chunk of our lives under Brazilian domination, and one much less delightful than the 1958-1974 dynasty. But that wasn't worth, say, an Italian repeat. Yeah, Kaka is annoying, but at least he's not yet another Ronaldo. I was prepared to accept the inevitable.

I probably should have expected a meltdown, since, well, that's what happened four years ago, when Team Zizou gave another series of media-friendly paper favorites the right-about. But Holland had a meltdown much more recently, against a much worse Russia team, and frankly look capable of folding against Uruguay.

God, what a knife-fight that's going to be. Yeah, Holland should be heavily favored, but you know Uruguay is going to lose just as ugly as they can win.

And if Holland wins, the spirit of the great 1970's teams will be alongside, arm in arm…and the sporting world will say, as one fan, "Cruyff couldn't win the World Cup, but these thugs could? Jesus wept."

That's your 2010 World Cup. Cinderella is just another ugly stepsister – just dirtier.

So the BBC Panorama broadcast that promised to switch on the bathroom light and send FIFA's cockroaches scurrying for cover has come and gone.

And Zurich isn't seeing a run on Roach Motels.

Yes, Jennings came up with a document which names names. Yes, it shows that three current FIFA Grandees were sucking up bribe money like giant sponges.

Twenty years ago.

If you aren't familiar with the FIFA/ISL scandal which almost brought the House of Blatter crashing down, it's a long and sordid tale of greed and graft that's difficult to summarize briefly but I'll give it a go:

A "sports marketing" firm called ISL/ISMM – whose headquarters building was quite literally directly across the street from FIFA HQ in Zurich – contracted with FIFA, the IOC and other international sports governing bodies for various services including marketing sponsorships and selling TV rights.

In order to get these contracts, they bribed the living bejeezus out of anyone and everyone at FIFA. Much of the money passed through Liechtenstein and was filtered through various bogus foundations. Sometimes bagmen would literally show up in Zurich with suitcases bulging with cash for the insatiable greedbags who run the sport.

The whole thing finally collapsed very much like the proverbial house of cards when ISL, which had sold – and collected money for – most of the rights related to World Cup 2002 in Korea/Japan declared bankruptcy, leaving FIFA's Executives with fat bank accounts but FIFA itself stone broke.

At it's most simple, ISL was in charge of selling everything that FIFA has to offer, but FIFA never saw a dime of it. And since World Cup revenues make up roughly 99% of FIFA's operating budget, the organization was in desperate straights.

But all of this came to light back in 2001. It's not "news" so much as "historical perspective".

(Any other CEO on Earth would have been immediately sacked, but Blatter was re-elected that same year thanks largely to Jack Warner, who stood by him.)

The whole thing finally went to trial in the Swiss city of Zug and the only reason that happened was because some idiot at ISL set some bribe checks to FIFA instead of the individuals involved. A settlement was reached in 2008 in which FIFA, without admitting anything, paid a large fine. Part of the agreement was that all the records would remain sealed.

So what Panorama and Jennings did, basically, was come up with some documents – undoubtedly copies of court records – which show that three guys who are still around took money, among them Brazilian Ricardo Teixeira, the former son-in-law of former FIFA President Joao Havelange pocketed about $10 million bucks. (Havelange himself is on the payments list but he no longer has a vote, just a huge salary for keeping his mouth shut).

This is notable mostly because Teixeira is currently the head of the Brazilian Fed (CBF) and Chairman of World Cup 2014, in which position he is now, according to a Brazilian magazine investigation, feverishly signing contracts with himself for various goods and services.

But here's the thing: all of the money which Jennings documented was paid between 1989 and 1999, at a time when – not coincidentally – there was no law in Switzerland prohibiting offering or accepting business bribes.

So while you and I may be outraged, these guys didn't break any law. The only thing they were in trouble with Swiss authorities for was skirting around various "unfair competition" laws and operating what could be reasonably described as a corrupt organization, which is why they agreed to pay the fine.

So all that really happened in the BBC broadcast is they put a few names together with a few dollar amounts. Nothing more.

For his part, Sepp Blatter has already said that FIFA intends to take no action at all. He rightly points out that all these facts were revealed in court, a fine was paid and the case was legally closed.

Additionally, Jennings brought up the unconnected case of the news report from a few months ago which documented 84,000 World Cup 2010 tickets which CONCACAF President Jack Warner sold (or tried to sell) on the "secondary market" as they say.

Even if this particular report wasn't a few months old now, it's still not exactly shocking news: "Jack Warner Kites Football Tickets" is a dog-bites-man story. He's a filthy and corrupt bastard who peddles tickets to whatever he wants however he likes and keeps the money.

This is such an old tale at this point that when I wrote about Warner a week or two ago I got an email from a reader who asked me to please stop because it's getting boring and, while I don't entirely agree I get his point.

So the BBC wrote a story based on some old, old news, fleshed it out with a few new details, patched it together with some pro forma poking of the Warnerbeast and put it on the air at a time when it was guaranteed to draw a huge audience.

Fair enough, I suppose. It's not like this isn't straight out of Broadcasting 101.

But at the end of the day, there simply wasn't anything there that they couldn't have covered with a three minute piece on the evening news.

Oh Portland.

We had such high hopes for you. We keep hearing how into the whole soccer thing you are and how tuned in to MLS your city is and on and on and, well doggone it we just couldn't be happier.

One thing though: when a reporter from your biggest news outlet does an interview with the Commissioner of the league, it would be nice if you could AT LEAST GET HIS FRIKKIN NAME RIGHT.

THIS STORY moved onto The Oregonian website a little after 8 last night and you'll notice that it was "updated" not quite two hours later.

You'll see why by looking at the url in the little window at the top of the linked page: the original headline said "Commissioner Doug Garber….".

And no, it was not just another idiot headline writer mistake; he was referred to as "Doug" twice more in the body of the article.

Now is this a big deal? Not at all, really, but after reading the caliber of the interview questions one gets the feeling that while excitement may be running high out there, the knowledge/intellect curve may be a bit behind.

Q. How excited is the league about Portland joining MLS next year?

"Well George, let me put it this way: Mrs. Garber has had to move out of the house what with the big old stiffy I'm carrying around 24/7. She needed some rest. Seriously, getting Porttown into the league has been our biggest and fondest dream for a decade. We just have to keep pinching ourselves because we still can't believe it's actually going to happen."

Q. Will MLS take advantage of the rivalry that exists between the three Northwest teams?

"What the hell are you driving at? "Take advantage" in what way? You mean, like, schedule regular season games between the three teams a couple times a year, or are you looking for full page ads in the Selma Alabama Kluxer?

It may shock you to learn, John, that we have a number of other clubs, like New York and DC and Houston and Chicago and places like that who aren't going to be holding "Vancouver vs. Portland" parties at the local watering hole"

Q. Considering the two new clubs are located in the west, will there some be some realignment in the league conferences and will Portland, Seattle and Vancouver remain in the Western Conference?

"No, we figured it made more sense for the teams farthest west to get placed in the eastern Conference. Do you see a problem with that?

It's a little early to be drunk, isn't it Mel?"

Q. What are the chances the Portland could host an MLS All-Star game or MLS Cup in the future?

"Well Bob, we played the last MLS Cup on artificial grass and, to be honest, it really blew. So yeah, we're really looking forward to having another league championship that's a largely unwatchable insult to the game."

Q. How do you counter the criticism that MLS is a sort of a retirement home for aging international stars?

"Jesus on Melba Toast, Karl, we sign three or four foreign players over 30, which works out to about .0068 % of the league and I have to listen to clowns like you wanking on about a "retirement home"? Bite me."

OK, so maybe Dan could have done that better. Nobody does "the fake interview answers" like DL. But he's sleeping right now. Sue me.

In any case, the last question is my favorite because Dougs' actual answer is better than anything I could dream up, to wit:

Are you concerned the league is expanding too quickly?

"We see the expansion as slow and steady growth, not rapid growth. This is the way we prefer to grow the league, with slow and consistent growth."

Really Don? You think adding one team a year for a decade is "slow growth"? See, that's odd because the rest of us think it's been a breakneck, pedal-to-the-medal grab for fat checks from anyone who has the bank balance to write one.

Tell me this: how many cities with a deep pocket owner and a suitable building have you ever – EVER – turned down because you wanted to keep growth "slow"?

In other words, give me an example – just one would be fine – of how your "slow and steady growth" philosophy has manifested itself in actual management decisions.

Or, if you'd prefer, tell us what league in the history of the universe has ever expanded faster than MLS has over the last ten years.

Don't get me wrong here; I'm absolutely pleased as punch that The Oregonian is covering the Timbers and MLS. Applause, applause.

But if they could maybe find someone who a) can take the time to, you know, learn his interviewees' name and b) can come up with halfway intelligent questions, then we'll all try to get Commissioner Dan into not just blowing smoke up their tookus.

Deal?

Normally, MLS is about as leaky as the Lusitania.

Usually by the time they make any official announcement everyone who gives a hoot is already tired of hearing about it.

Which makes it even more obvious that the league has threatened everyone in the place with summary execution (or, even worse, sending them to work for USSF 2) if they breathe a single word about – well, about anything.

Thus, yesterday's announcement that a negotiating session scheduled in Washington DC had to be postponed because of the weather came as such a surprise and raised more questions than it answered

Washington? Haven't they been meeting in New York? Does this mean there's now a mediator involved? Who can say?

And of course the most obvious question is: does this mean the deadline – now a mere 12 hours away – has been pushed back?

Don't bother asking. Everybody and their cheapass brother in law already has. Soccer writers and blabbers have been pounding away at their super-secret sources for weeks now, and the more they ask the less they get.

Now I grant you that I've been in touch with a couple guys who claim to have the skinny on all of this but I don't believe them. There are guys out here in the soccersphere who make their living milking league sources, and if any of them have clue one they're keeping it close to the vest.

So since MLS employees are all selfishly more worried about losing their livelihoods than they are about letting the Great Unwashed in on the latest poop, we're forced to look around for other soccer stuff going on.

Courtesy of Steven "We're Not Worthy" Goff comes LINKS TO LANDON MANIA after Everton beat Chelsea for the first time in a decade.

I just want to ask – and this is a real question, not just rhetorical snark – what in the problem was with the Germans? Here's guy who's supposedly slaying dragons in the EPL and they couldn't find something for him to do in the Bundesliga? What am I missing?

However that may be, David Moyes is already DOWNPLAYING THE POSSIBILITY that Donovan will make a permanent move to Goodison Park, saying that he's likely to be out of their price range. Whether this is just a tactic, hoping to jimmy the price down a notch or two, or if he really means it only he can say.

What we do know is that we were right all along: Donovan really can play. It wasn't our imaginations.

An early report today had Raul DEFINITELY HEADED FOR NYRB which was going to be the blockbuster of the day.

Sadly for BigSoccer's traffic numbers, THE RED BULLS ALMOST IMMEDIATELY CALLED IS BUNK

I hate it when perfectly good mindless hysteria gets nipped in the bud.

Poor Dan. No sooner does he opine about the inanity of teams in US leagues using the "FC" moniker than Edmonton announces their newst DIvision 2 entry: Edmonton FC.

It's a shame they chose not to use "Drillers" which is of course a storied NASL club which was owned by Peter Pocklington, the same guy who owned the Oilers back then.

It's interesting that they didn't immediately hop on the MLS bandwagon. In their heyday around 1980 they out drew the Toronto Blizzard by a significant margin and one would think that, like every other sports entrepreneur up there, they'd look at TFC and see dollar signs of their own.

So let's see: take Toronto, Vancouver, Montreal, Ottawa and Edmonton, toss in Calgary (home of the NASL Boomers) and, gosh, some people might consider starting a league.

Interestingly enough, at the press conference introducing the new Canadian National team coach back in December, he told the assembled media that he thinks what Canada needs is their own professional league.

Sure. He says it, everyone smiles and nods in agreement. I say the same thing and everyone's head explodes.

Go figure.

The end of the season brings many different emotions to different sets of fans. Some will be basking in the glory of winning a trophy or a promotion. Some will see many positives in their team and will be eagerly anticipating the following season. Some will just be glad the seasons over and hope that the next season can’t be as bad. Others will be still trying to come to terms with relegation.
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Spare a thought then for fans tomorrow at Edgeley Park, the home of Stockport County (Stockport is just South of Manchester), who go to the League One game tomorrow against Tranmere Rovers with entirely different emotions. For the visiting Tranmere fans, it will be the anxiety of hoping their team can win and that other results fall their way, so that their club is not relegated. For the Stockport fans there is an entirely different feeling, a sickening feeling, an empty feeling. The dread that this may be the last time they ever get to see their club.
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Stockport County are in trouble both on and off the pitch. On the pitch they have had a torrid season and have been relegated, without really ever looking likely to stay up. The on-field issues have been shaped by the off-field problems, which are much, much worse. The biggest problem is that the club is currently in administration, which, sadly, isn’t unusual for clubs at this level, but for County it’s a potentially fatal problem. County started this season in administration and under league rules; no club can start successive seasons in administration. Therefore, County have to find a buyer before next seasons fixtures are published or they will be expelled from the league and by that time, it may be too late to even go into the division below, the Blue Square Premier, or even the division below that. County could well find themselves dropping into the obscurity of the English regional leagues.
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Sadly for fans of County, the club, like many other Football League clubs in England, has suffered greatly from mismanagement by those running the club and the continual greed of the Premier League, who refused to share it’s TV money when it broke away from the league and are threatening to pull the little money they do now provide.
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In 2000, the chairman at the time, Brendan Elwood, suggested, in all seriousness, that County should merge with Manchester City, as stupid an idea then as it would be now. The name he came up with for this merged club is straight from an adult video store, Man-Stock County! That kind of thinking was a taste of what was to come.
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Elwood eventually sold the club and the stadium, to Brian Kennedy, the multi-millionaire owner of Rugby Union side Sale Sharks, who moved into Edgeley Park. Despite initial promises that he would devote equal time to both clubs, it became obvious that Kennedy’s focus was firmly on the Sharks and as such he ended up selling the club to a supporters trust but kept hold of the stadium.
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Usually this is a positive step, as those who genuinely care about it rather than those who want to just profiteer, run the club. In County’s case though, it went wrong very quickly. The idea was that both the rugby and the football club were meant to share the money raised at the ground. They did share it, just not equally. The agreement the trust had to sign left them without the resources they needed to compete. They even had to give Kennedy a share of transfer fees raised, and as a result ended up running up huge debts.
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Stories started to emerge of the bad financial situation for Stockport. It was estimated at one point they had given the Inland Revenue (the UK’s tax agency) £500,000 in a short space of time thanks to a fire-sale of players but still owed them about the same amount of money and had other creditors to pay. Eventually the club fell into administration in April 2009, a move that was seen by some as premature as County seemed to be getting repayment plans sorted out with the companies they owed. Almost immediately manager Jim Gannon, one of the rising stars of English football management, was made redundant. Obviously a manager is vital to a football club so this was seen as a petty and vindictive move by some fans as Gannon, a trained accountant had submitted his own business plan to the board which was at odds with those produced by those seeking to buy the club.
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Since then there has been one group trying to buy the club, the league has rejected proposal after proposal from them. In the mean time the proposed buyers were allowed to install a manager, former Liverpool reserve manager Gary Ablett. An inexperienced manager plus a squad stripped down to its bare bones spelt out trouble on the pitch and the team have plummeted to the bottom of the league.
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The only potential light at the end of the tunnel is a consortium rumoured to be interested. There is a way to go with that bid however, and it may represent Stockport’s only hope of survival.
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Stockport’s fans have been let down by far too many people. By the man who stripped the club of it’s prime asset, the stadium, and then cut it loose. They’ve been let down by the supporters club who couldn’t operate under the conditions imposed upon them. Let down by the local authorities who refused to act until it dawned upon them that County may disappear altogether and finally, let down by the apathy of the richer clubs that watch the smaller clubs drowning, and refuse to throw them a rope.
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So tomorrow (May 8) at a stadium that the team no longer own, Stockport may play out the last game in its 105-year unbroken league tenure. They may go the same way as Chester City and one day the fans wake up to find that the club simply no longer exists. So no matter what your emotions about the end of the season are, remind yourself it could be much worse.

Someone stop me before I sin again.

Too late.

Another day, another owner heard from.

Since the actual owners of Toronto FC – the Ontario Teachers Retirement Fund – were out moose hunting, Richard Peddie, President and CEO of Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment, had to stand in.

Significantly, Peddie is an alternate member of the MLS Board of Governors and a member of the leagues' labor relations committee. Even more significantly, he's the Big Salami at the team whose fans are most vocal and strident about the need to change the leagues' structure.

Mssr. Peddie had a simple message for them on Friday:

"We believe the players are asking for too much."

Further, in regard to the current economic status of the league he was equally blunt:

"It's not thriving at all….We're years away from profitability."

In case you're keeping score at home, in the last week we've now heard from the owners of the three teams that the "training wheels" crowd claims are chafing at the bit over the current system, desperately hoping to bring down single entity, throw off the shackles of outmoded and unnecessary centralization and boldly take their rightful places alongside the giants of world football.

(If you think I'm exaggerating, go read some of these fruitcakes. Warning: wear extremely tall boots.)

Peddie goes on to point out that MLSE is shelling out beaucoup loonies for this whole soccer thing, spending millions to put grass in BMO, purchase Gol TV and greatly expand TFCs' Youth Academy.

He didn't connect the dots for his fans, apparently in the belief – for which I would contend there is scant evidence – that they are capable of doing so themselves, ie. that they are investing their revenues up there in the future of Canadian soccer instead of using it to rent over-the-hill foreign players so they can dominate the Trillium Cup.

Moreover, his use of the pronoun "we", as in "MLS L.L.C." ought to – but undoubtedly won't – reinforce for his fans the notion that the owners see themselves as part of, well, of a single entity.

On a somewhat related – and highly ironic – note, Ali Gerba, whose career at TFC is apparently at an end, has hired an attorney to get his guaranteed MLS contract voided.

The fact that his fellows-in-arms are, even as we speak, down in DC threatening to shut the league down if they don't get guaranteed contracts while Gerba is desperate to get out of a guaranteed contract probably says something profound aboutt MLS, the union or Gerba, but I'll be damned if I can figure out what that might be.

On a totally different front, since my mission here, like Peddies', is the furtherance of soccer rather than personal gain or aggrandizement, I'm going to take the high road and not send the good folks over at Women's Professional Soccer a bill in return for my services in designing the format for their All Star Game.

Their plan is to select the teams similar to the way pickup games are organized at the local park (presumably without the fat kid who always gets taken last): they're going to elect two captains, one from the US and one International, and they will pick their own teams from the group that's there standing around.

Which, I would humbly submit, is exactly the same plan I proposed last Spring in this very space. (Scroll all the way to the bottom).

No charge guys. Glad to help.

In a similar vein, since Danny Szetelas' waiver was officially announced yesterday, I was planning on writing something about the guy since his career seems, to put it charitably, at a crossroads.

However, in checking back for some dates and such I came across this piece which I wrote last Summer and decided that it wasn't necessary to re-plow old ground.

If the history and possible genesis of his problems is of any interest, check it out. If not, well, then I haven't wasted your time.

Finally, since it's Saturday and, like the man said "There's nothing to smile about here, mate", I herewith offer something to smile about:

And now, back to holding our collective breath.

I will be "off the grid", so to speak, for the next week or so.

So I figured why not take the time to assess Javier Aguirre’s possible final 23-man roster. Who’s in? Who’s out? Who is running out time to make an impression?

Goalkeeper (3)

This is the only position where FIFA mandates a minimum amount for the world cup. Javier Aguirre has called up and played Luis Ernesto Michel and Jonathan Orozco. But they really weren’t threatened at all, so he didn’t see much. Guillermo Ochoa has not been called, but it still a safe bet to be on the field in Soccer City on June 11

IN
Ochoa, Michel, Orozco

OUT
Jesus Corona. He has not been playing for Cruz Azul and had some off the field issues. He picked the wrong time to get in a funk.

LOOK OVER HERE
Moises Muñoz. The Morelia netminder is having a terrific season. He allowed a league low 15 goals in the A09, and so far in the BC2010, only 4 goals have gotten by him, including 7 clean sheets. Libertadores? That is a different story altogether. The whole team has struggled, and continued poor performances in the tournament might hold him back. Either way, he should definitely get a call in these next two friendlies.

Defenders (8)
There is a lot of depth at this position. So much that it might allow Aguirre to place Rafael Marquez in front of the defense. Most of the defenders play in Europe, and Efrain Juarez will likely be joining them very soon. Even though he has not played very much at all this year at Stuttgart, Ricardo Osorio has been very solid in the middle for Mexico. Maza Rodriguez has been the most improved, and Hector Moreno provides solid depth.

IN
Marquez, Osorio, Carlos Salcido, Juarez, Rodriguez, Moreno, Jonny Magallon

OUT
Hugo Ayala. The Atlas defender is good, but not good enough to jump in front of the group in front of him. With most of the defenders likely playing their last world cups, Ayala will be a factor for Brasil2014.

LOOK OVER HERE
Paul Aguilar – The Pachuca player has the skills, but lacks the international experience. But he will be one of many who are vying to back up the flank defense. Aguilar plays on the right, if he can show he can handle the left, then it is his to lose.

Midfield (6)
Another position where there is a lot of depth and talent. Aguirre may only need to take 6 midfielders because he seems to favor a 4-3-3 hybrid. There are a lot of hats in this group. He can cover the DMs with Rafa, the Forwards with Giovani, Israel Castro can fall back to defend, and Pablo Barrera can play on either flank.

IN
Gerardo Torrado, Israel Castro, Andres Guardado, Giovani Dos Santos, Pablo Barrera

OUT
Alberto Medina. For whatever reason, Alberto Medina just doesn’t play well for Mexico, and he has been given plenty of opportunities. It is too bad for him.

LOOK OVER HERE
Braulio Luna has enjoyed somewhat of a renaissance and is playing some of the best futbol of his life. But he has to keep it up, because Morelia’s Elias Hernandez is another young player who is having a terrific season. His only drawback is that he is not as versatile as Luna. One to definitely keep an eye on.

Forwards (6)
Mexico has had good strikers in the past, but they have lacked that complete striker. One that can score by any means necessary. Left foot, right foot, head, chest, tukus, whatever. Javier Hernandez has shown that he can be that guy. But he hasn’t shown it when the stakes are highest. Everyone thinks that Cuauhtémoc Blanco is out of gas. But he’ll be ready. Guille Franco and Carlos Vela will be in South Africa as well. The question is, who will join these guys? Miguel Sabah? Aldo de Nigris? Nery Castillo?

IN
Blanco, Hernandez, Vela, Franco

OUT
Enrique Esqueda. He got injured at the worst moment, but it would have been hard for him to make the final 23.

LOOK OVER HERE
Miguel Sabah has yet to be called up this year, but he is scoring goals for Morelia. He should get a long look these next few friendlies.

WILD CARDS
Adolfo Bautista. Another player who has caught a second wind. He has been instrumental in Chivas’ recent dominance and has all the tools to be a difference maker. Where he lacks, though, is in the most important tool of them all: the noggin.
If he can maintain his good form, he might be that last guy to make the roster.

Jonathan Dos Santos. He showed glimpses of his prodigious talent in Pasadena last week. But he is also very green. It’s not his fault that he has had a speckle of PT at Barcelona. But we can’t dismiss that he practices against that team every week. What other 18 year-olds get to do that?

Nery Castillo. Three years ago, Castillo seemed to be the answer to all of Mexico’s troubles. Personal tragedy and bad career decisions have taken a sever toll him. He has not played a complete 90 minutes in a very long time. If he can somehow get his wits together and find any kind of rhythm, he might sneak his way onto the team. Otherwise, it’s wait until 2014.