Hey, remember that Landon Donovan interview I promised/threatened? It's coming. But at least now I can announce the product he's endorsing.
It's called FLOTV – I believe I'm supposed to capitalize it – although I don't think FLO stands for anything – and it's basically portable television. I was honest to God wondering whatever happened to UHF channels, and it turns out, the answer is FLO TV.
Vastly, vastly more interesting to you, the soccer audience, might be the World Cup games being shown on ESPN mobile, though. Every game, apparently. Every handball from the French, every dive from the Italians, every goal from New Zealand – all on your cell phone, if you have AT&T or Verizon. Or on a personal television. Or in your car. You can't call or text in your car anymore, but you can watch World Cup games. Finally, technology with no down side.
What about after the World Cup, though? Will you be stuck with a hunk of dead plastic, like TFC's old field? Of course not, silly.
At first I read that as "Playboy Disney," and I was like, "Finally!" But it's Playhouse Disney. Very very different.
How much does it cost? Um…it depends on how you watch. This might help you out.
So, this is what Landon Donovan is endorsing now, and we all want to be like Landon. I'm led to believe FLO TV and This Very Website will have some promotions available for you all at some point, but I'm not always right about everything all the time. (Hey…that sounds like a good place for a segue.)
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Case in point…a few weeks ago, I confidently predicted the 23 players that Coach Bob Bradley would take to the Antipodes. With Bob being so predictable, and the talent pool being so not deep, I thought I would only be off by three guys, tops.
And sure enough – it's just what we expected. Twenty-three American men. No women, because the USSF is sexist. No foreign players, because the USSF is racist. Some "national" team, excluding half the population right off the bat, plus barring immigrants and green card holders. More like Bradley's Own Old Boy Squad. (Needs a catchy acronym, though.)
Actually, at this point I should know better at this point than to crack wise about Bob Bradley's alleged failings. because Lord knows, there's nothing you can say about him at this point that someone won't believe.
Frexample:
A good question. Let's ask some people.
Well, okay, just because one guy was surprised, it doesn't mean that Bradley isn't staid and bland and
Paul Gardner, never ever change. Not that you were planning on it.
Christ, I even assigned uniform numbers, I was so cocky.
Well, in the words of General Custer, whoopsie doodle, chicken noodle.
Where did I go wrong?
Nothing against Troy Perkins, but…a fourth keeper as an alternate? What the hell kind of rectoencephaly was THAT? That was just STUPID of me. The third keeper is only going to be used in case of national emergency to begin with, what the hell was I expecting to happen that we would need a fourth? Why didn't one of you tell me? I depend on you guys to set me straight on this, you know. Yeah, you know what, this is on you, not me.
How quickly did the Buddle and Herculez bandwagons get rolling? Those two guys never came close to crossing my mind at the beginning of March, and I own jerseys with their numbers on them. So I don't feel bad about missing that call, either.
I've got, by my count, two definite misses so far, at least. Let me start with #9. I think it's time someone had the courage to stand up to the crowd and say what needs to be said about Charlie Davies. This isn't easy, but it's necessary.
Or it would be, if Bruce hadn't beaten me to it.
Okay, then. Glad I read that, before I made an irrelevant, overlong and unnecessarily strident post of my own.
In any case, I'm more shocked by Conor Casey being left off. No, he's not the prettiest sheep in the petting zoo, by any means, but he has at least contributed to the national team at some point in the last 24 months or so. I realize I was honking the form horn pretty hard, but I didn't mean to argue an illogical converse. Buddle tearing it up for the Galaxy qualifying him for camp does not mean that Casey un-tearing it up for Los Pids disqualifies him.
I think someone tried to tell me that Bradley wasn't going to take Conor Casey and Brian Ching, because they're pretty much the same player, cosmically speaking. So you put one in for the other as a sub, reasoned I, and then you won't have to change the game plan! Yeah, it's a good thing being wrong all the time never gets old.
I didn't think Torres would be called in, and you know what, I still don't think he's going to be on the roster. Who do you drop? Who? Name one guy on the roster you'd drop for him. Who plays the same position Torres does. I dare you. Name one player you'd replace for Torres.
Okay, yes, I'm trolling for Michael Bradley hatred. And I've got the same response. If it was some guy named Michael Smith playing in the Bundesliga, you wouldn't blink at him starting. He still wouldn't be your favorite player – I don't think he's ever going to score goals like he did with Heerenveen, either, certainly not this summer. But that ain't his job, man.
On the other hand, the guy apparently takes criticism personally, and usually responds with solid performances followed up by "No one believed in us", i.e., himself. Since I care much more about US wins than Michael's feelings, by all means unload on the guy.
Because really, it's all about the US winning. How that happens, and who makes that happen? Totally beside the point. I don't care who Bob Bradley names to camp, as long as….
Wait. Eddie Johnson AND Sacha Kljestan?
That's it. I'm cheering for England.