Zack Ryder’s Show Moving, Otunga Talks Courtroom Return & More

– As reported earlier this week, David Otugna returned to the court room on Thursday as a lawyer. The WWE website features an interview with Otguna following his recent legal victory. Otunga had this to say about his legal career:

“I actually worked as a full time trial lawyer in Boston while in my third year at Harvard Law School. Most people couldn’t have handled trying to graduate from the most prestigious law school in the world while trying cases full time, but I’m obviously not most people.’

“I don’t have time for a full caseload because I’m a globally recognizable WWE Superstar and Official Legal Counsel to Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim Raw General Manager, Mr. John Laurinaitis. But I like to stay sharp.”

“I’ve tried twenty cases and I’ve won them all. I have a perfect record. What else would you expect from someone like me?”

– The latest “Bring it Back” feature on WWE.com calls for WWE to bring back the original SmackDown set, featuring the “big fist” above the entrance ramp. You can read the article at WWE.com.

– Zack Ryder’s “Long Island Iced Z!” YouTube show is moving to the official WWE Youtube channel next week.

WWE will be launching new “webisodes” on February 1, 2012 as part of their partnership with Google/YouTube.

* Huge Surprise Planned For Sunday’s ROYAL RUMBLE

Bobby Roode Responds To The Rock Putting Him Over

TNA Champion Bobby Roode has responded to The Rock endorsing him on Twitter over the weekend.

The Rock tweeted on Saturday:

“@REALBobbyRoode I dig your work. Keep movin’ the crowd and kicking that ass. (tell Bubba his calves still aren’t as big as mine)”

Roode responded with the following:

“@TheRock Thanks for the kind words, means a lot. I will make sure that I remind Bubba about the calves!”

* Big Changes Coming To TNA & STING Talks About Jumping To WWE

HBK Comments On RAW, Mysterio Backstage In San Diego, WWE Releases

– WWE Hall of Famer Shawn Michaels appeared on Raw and confronted his best friend Triple H over him rejecting The Undertaker’s Wrestlemania 28 challenge. Michaels read Triple H the riot act, explaining that where he’s from, if a man challenges you and you turn down the challenge, you are a coward. Michaels tweeted the following after RAW:

“Well, that was interesting!! Always a joy, no matter what happens, to get out I’m front of all of you. Tomorrow…back to my tractor:-) Thanks San Diego…and in my best Ron Burgundy voice…”Stay Classy San Diego.”

– Injured WWE superstar Rey Mysterio was backstage at Monday’s RAW from his hometown of San Diego, California. He did not appear on camera.

– There are reports going around that WWE has released a few people from the Consumer Products department last Friday. Jim Connely (Senior VP), Florence Digiorgio (VP), and Dean Miller (VP) are among the names that are rumored to be released. We will follow up on this story when new details become available.

* Picture of John Cena’s Florida Mansion (Holy Crap)

Taker's Haircut, What Happened After RAW, Who Was Backstage, Dark Match & Superstars Tapings

— After Monday’s RAW Supershow went off the air, WWE Champion CM Punk defeated Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler wrestling in the dark match is a good sign he was not injured during the nasty bump he took on the announcer’s table when Big Show eliminated him from the battle royal.

— Among the names who were backstage at RAW were former WWE/WCW star Perry Saturn and AWA star Greg Gagne.

— The Undertaker returned to RAW for a confrontation with Triple H. The Undertaker appeared with a hood covering his head, covering up the haircut we saw him give himself during last week’s promo video.

According to a report at PWTorch.com, the current plan is for Undertaker to remove his hood for the first time at WrestleMania 28.

Thanks to reader James Kloetzke for sending this in:

Dark Match: Rye Back over JTG
Superstars: McGillicutty over Alex Riley
Superstars: Tyler Reks over Mason Ryan

* Picture of The UNDERTAKER With A BALD HEAD

(Source: PWTorch.com)

Cewsh Reviews Women's History Month Special – The Life And Times Of Mildred Burke

Click:perfume bottles

Afternoon, boys and girls. I’ve gathered you here for a special purpose, and an entirely educational one, but I promise not to keep you too long so you can get back to your porn and your cat macros. The topic today is one close to my heart as, in honor of Women’s History Month and our full month of reviews revolving around women wrestling, we honor Mildred Burke, the mother of women’s wrestling.

 
Also An Alternative Transportation Enthusiast.

You may not have heard of her, and you may never see any of her work, yet she is one of the most influential wrestlers to ever live and is almost solely responsible for women’s wrestling becoming a reality worldwide.  So who is this lady who grabbed the wrestling world by the balls and held on? As with so many stories like hers, its not about who she was. It’s about what.

When Mildred Burke was 18 years old, she was a waitress on an Indian Reservation in bumfuck New Mexico. To hear her tell it, she met a dashing man, looked around at the place, and said “Balls to this” and headed for the big city with him. Lucky for us she did, because that man introduced her to the world of professional wrestling and without this lucky stroke of fortune the wrestling world would be drastically different today. But i’m getting ahead of myself. Later on, despite being married with a child, Burke began dreaming of becoming a professional wrestler, being the sort of woman who vicious face beatings come naturally to.

On a lark one day she went and introduced herself to a trainer by the name of Billy Wolfe and asked to train. Now remember, this was 1935. It wasn’t exactly a golden age of equality for women, so when Wolfe saw this chick barging into his place thinking she was as good as a man, he decided to fuck her over to teach her a lesson. He sent one of his boys to body slam her to show her what was what and make her run away crying. Instead, Burke promptly picked his brawny ass up and planted him down with a picture perfect body slam, conceivably one handed, and asked to be trained again. Wolfe agreed and then left to change his pants.

 She Had That Effect On People.

Thus began a partnership between the two that would lead to Wolfe and Burke traveling the country together and eventually getting married. Their marriage was a shambles of course, he was still a dickhead remember and a womanizing one at that, but from the partnership Burke began to become known as the premier female grappler of her day. She shoot wrestled over 200 men during this time and lost only once and held the Women’s championship all over the country, including becoming the very first NWA Women’s champion and held the Women’s World Championship for a whopping 17 GODDAMN YEARS. Thanks to her, an entire movement for women’s wrestling began to grow with her at its head, and for years it seemed like things couldn’t be better for her.

Finally, though, her crazy terrible marriage took its toll and she sought a divorce from Wolfe. Unfortunately since this was 1952, getting a divorce from him meant that not only was she shunned as a pariah from many places that had welcomed her before, but Wolfe also got her kicked right the fuck out of the National Wrestling Alliance. After the NWA tried to convince her to be a good girl and get back together with her husband (at which point she allegedly sent them a picture of her middle finger) it was agreed that Wolfe would sell Burke the company she had gotten going, and would not run his own promotion in competition to her for at least 5 years.

He waited about 5 seconds.

Who Would Have Guessed That A Man Who Looks Like This Would Be Capable Of Evil?

Wolfe then began offering Burke’s wrestlers 75% of the house to come and work for him, which was a totally ridiculous amount devised clearly only to bankrupt Burke. It worked. When she tried to convince the NWA to choose her and her money drawing over the guy twiddling his mustache like Snidley Whiplash in the corner, she was promptly told to no woman was allowed to be present at an NWA conference and forced her to wait in the lobby. They ruled that no woman could own a wrestling promotion and gave everything to Wolfe, and then theoretically went home and kicked puppies and stole candy from babies and  performed other acts of cartoonish evil.

Then, in a scene so ridiculously pro wrestling that its hard to believe it really happened, Burke wrestled Wolfe’s daughter in law Julie Byers for the title in a shoot fight that Wolfe rigged with a corrupt referee.

Burke Took This Pretty Well, All Things Considered.

Burke lost the first fall, and then chaos ensued during the second so that no actual end to the match ever happened. Wolfe ran and told the NWA that Byers won, though, so they crowned her their new NWA Women’s champion, and continue to to this day. Burke, though, believed that she was still the champion and took her actual title belt to her newly founded World Women’s Wrestling Association. She defended the title there until she retired in 1956, and then through her tireless efforts to promote women’s wrestling worldwide, it became the official championship of AJW. Otherwise known as the promotion where women like Jaguar Yokota, Akira Hokuto, Manami Toyota and Aja Kong plied their trade and their incredible achievements would never have been possible had not Burke brought the concept to their country and personally endorsed it every step of the way.

In the twilight years of her career, Burke trained wrestlers, and had a hand in the development of everyone from the Fabulous Moolah (who was her protege) to Bertha Faye. To this day, her name remains virtually blacklisted from the history books thanks to a lifelong smear campaign by her husband and the National Wrestling Alliance never acknowledged her accomplishments at any point after the split. But Burke couldn’t be bothered to give two shits. No matter what obstacles people put in her way, she still managed to be the mother of women’s wrestling worldwide, and perhaps one of the most influential wrestlers to ever live. And her influence lives on today.

Oh, and Billy Wolfe died horribly of pneumonia over in 1963. Burke would go on to outlive him by 26 years. So you know, happy endings and that.

We hope you enjoyed this spotlight on one of the most overlooked pioneers and draws in wrestling history.  She wasn’t special because she was a woman.  She was a woman who was motherfucking special.  We would love to hear about other women throughout wrestling history who have inspired you and who you don’t feel have gotten their due, and if nothing else, hopefully this gets you thinking about how incredibly far we’ve come and how far we still yet have to go.

Hey, dear reader, did you enjoy this review? Did you want to leave hateful messages to the authors that will leave searing trails across their souls? Are you almost sure that we’re aliens and need further incriminating information? Then head right on over to our blog at Cewsh Reviews: The Blog Relationship and carpentry advice is also available via email at [email protected].

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Button reveals contracts ‘were ready to go’ with Ferrari in 2012

Jenson Button has revealed that he nearly passed through the golden gates of Maranello at the end of the 2012 F1 season, with contracts even drawn up between the Briton and Ferrari at the time.

The 2009 F1 world champion was heading into his third season with McLaren in 2012 when talks took place with the Scuderia about a possible move to the Italian outfit for 2013 and a potential drive alongside Fernando Alonso.

“Every driver would love to race for Ferrari at some point,” Button told Motorsport News. “There’s just something about that team.

“Even this year [2020] it’s tough for them and tough for motorsport fans to see them where they are, but maybe they needed this to come back stronger.

“But I would love to have raced for Ferrari and there was a good possibility sort of eight years ago but it just didn’t materialise at the end.

“Pretty much contracts were ready to go and it almost happened, but for many different reasons it didn’t and, to be fair, I was probably better off where I was anyway at McLaren.”

Button eventually prolonged his spell at McLaren and remained with the Woking based outfit until the end of 2016, hopping back onboard for a one-off at Monaco in 2017.

However, there were no wins for the Briton after his final Grand Prix triumph with McLaren at the Brazilian GP at the end of 2012.

As for Ferrari, the House of Maranello collected two wins in 2013 thanks to Alonso who went on to finish runner-up in the championship that year to Red Bull’s Sebastian Vettel.

Gallery: The beautiful wives and girlfriends of F1 drivers

Keep up to date with all the F1 news via Facebook and Twitter

Former TNA Wrestler Competes At WWE Show , Eve & Natalya Extend Feud Online

— WWE developmental wrestler Xavier Woods, who formerly competed as Consequences Creed for TNA Wrestling, appeared before a WWE crowd for the first time at Friday’s Raw live event in Cornwall, Ontario. He defeated Curt Hawkins in a singles match.

Woods signed a developmental contract with WWE in July 2010 and has appeared for Florida Championship Wrestling ever since.

— WWE will hold a Raw live event at Civic Center in Charleston, West Virginia on July 27, 2012. It was originally scheduled to take place on May 6, 2012.

— Prior to Eve’s victory over Natalya on Friday’s SmackDown, the third generation wrestler confronted Eve to give her opinion on the situation with Zack Ryder. The dueling Divas have extended their feud to Twitter. Natalya wrote of Eve’s actions, “After SD last night I’m more disgusted than ever by @EveMarieTorres’ behavior toward both @ZackRyder and @JohnCena. #TeamZack.”

Eve responded, “And I’m disgusted by… you @NatbyNature. I wouldn’t expect u, or any of these people to know how it feels to be beautiful & have to use it.”

Video – Natalya farts again on SmackDown

Road Warrior Animal Says Sting Does Not Deserve To Be Called An Icon

During a recent interview with Extreme Pro Wrestling Radio, WWE Hall of Famer Road Warrior Animal discussed Sting’s status as an icon and his pick for the best singles worker of all time. Here’s what Animal said about:

Teaming with Sting: “The NWA was looking for a spot for Sting and I said make him a brother in paint and then Sting joined us (Road Warriors) in our six-man matches.”

Whether Sting Is An icon: “No! Sting is not in the same league as guys like Triple H, Stone Cold, The Rock. Sting will never be considered a legend or icon until he lets his pride go and joins WWE. He needs to bury his personal issues and just get into the WWE. Sting has to come over to the WWE to be that guy, it’s a bigger stage. Impact is one thing, the WWE is a way bigger thing.”

The Best Singles Wrestler Of All Time: “Easily, [Ric] Flair.”

* Tons of Backstage WWE News Headed Into WrestleMania

Preview For Thursday's Impact Wrestling – Three Title Matches Announced

ImpactWrestling.com has released the official preview for this Thursday’s episode of Impact Wrestling.

Preview Thursday’s IMPACT WRESTLING broadcast on SpikeTV at 9/8c. If you can’t watch it Thursday, make sure to set your DVR to record it so you don’t miss any of the action!

– Witness the aftermath of the “Victory Road” Pay-Per-View event

– What will be the fallout from the brutal PPV main event, as World Champion Bobby Roode faced Sting? What is Sting’s condition? What will be the fallout from what Roode did to TNA President Dixie Carter?

– The road to the April “Lockdown” event begins, including Bobby Roode vs. “Cowboy” James Storm for the World Heavyweight Championship. Both Roode and Storm will be on IMPACT this Thursday

– Eric Young and ODB will defend the Knockouts Tag Team Titles against Rosita and Sarita of Mexican America

– Plus, the X Division Championship will be on the line as Austin Aries defends against Kid Kash, Zema Ion, and Anthony Nese. Plus the Tag Team Championship will be defended on Thursday’s IMPACT WRESTLING

*PHOTO* of The Undertaker with short hair

WWE Raw Report (03/26/12) – Atlanta, Georgia

WWE Raw 03/26

We are live in: Atlanta, Georgia

Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T
_______________________________________________

Raw intro plays.

Cut to the arena.

Later tonight, Rock and John Cena will meet face to face one more time before their match at WrestleMania.

Randy Orton comes out. He heads to the ring for a tag team match to kick off the show.

Sheamus comes out next and heads to the ring as his partner.

World Champion Daniel Bryan comes out along with his girlfriend AJ and head to the ring as their opponent.

The lights go out, then fire shoots from the stage as Kane comes out. He heads to the ring as Bryan’s partner.

Match #1

[Randy Orton & Sheamus vs. Kane & Daniel Bryan]
[Tag Team Match]

The bell sounds. Orton and Bryan start for their teams, but Bryan holds his hands up, waits for AJ to climb up on the apron and kisses her for luck. Bryan goes over to Orton and they grapple. Orton with a side headlock. Bryan shoves Orton into the ropes and Orton returns with a shoulder block that knocks the champ down. Orton goes to grab him, but Bryan avoids by kicking him in the gut. Bryan runs the ropes and Orton catches him with a back body drop. Orton stomps away at Bryan’s arms and legs. He goes for a knee drop, but Bryan avoids it. Bryan with a kick and a European uppercut that sends Orton into the nearest turnbuckle. Bryan goes to whip him to the opposite end, but Orton counters. Bryan runs up the turnbuckle, back flips, and lands behind Orton. Bryan runs the ropes. Orton goes for a clothesline but misses. Bryan off the ropes again and this time Orton hits the clothesline. He covers for a one count. Orton lifts Bryan up and drags him over to his corner. Sheamus tags Orton and heads into the ring. Bryan quickly escapes Orton’s grasp and rushes to the other side of the ring to avoid him. He tags Kane in and exits the ring.

Kane and Sheamus grapple. Their test of strength brings both men into a turnbuckle before separating. It looks like they’re about to grapple again, but Kane instead drive a knee into his stomach and then jabs him in the throat. Kane grabs Sheamus and goes to slam him, but Sheamus slips behind Kane and chops the back of his leg. Sheamus with a high knee to the face followed by a couple punches to the head. Sheamus runs off the ropes and Kane catches him with an elbow to the face. Sheamus sits up, Kane runs off the ropes and dropkicks him in the face. He covers for a one count. Kane whips Sheamus into a turnbuckle. He charges after him, but Sheamus manages to boot Kane away. Sheamus then climbs the turnbuckle, leaps and hits a battering ram off the top for a one count. Sheamus waits for Kane to get back up. He then kicks Kane and goes for a Celtic Cross, but Bryan manages to distract Sheamus long enough for Kane to uppercut him out of the ring. Bryan runs off the apron and hits Sheamus with a diving knee to the head.

-Commercial Break-

Back from break, and Bryan and Sheamus are in the ring. Bryan has Sheamus in the corner, and he delivers a series of high kicks to the chest. Sheamus shoves Bryan back. Bryan goes for a running dropkick, but Sheamus avoid it and Bryan’s legs hit the turnbuckle post. Sheamus crawls over to Orton while Bryan makes his way to Kane. Sheamus tags in Orton. Kane hops off the apron while Orton knocks Bryan down with two clotheslines. Bryan with a clothesline attempt, but Orton ducks and hits a powerslam. Orton grabs Bryan and places him on the apron. He sets him up on the middle rope and connects with the DDT. Orton signals for the RKO, but Kane manages to pull Bryan out of the ring. Orton exits the ring and goes after Kane. He nails Kane with punches to the head before sending him face first into the turnbuckle post. Orton tries to get back in the ring, but Bryan baseball slides him back out. Bryan kicks Orton while he’s down before grabbing him and tossing him back into the ring. Bryan grabs Orton’s arm and tags Kane back in. Bryan continues holding the arm so Kane can get in a free shot to the ribs followed by a kick to the face. Orton heads into a turnbuckle and Kane connects with an elbow to the head. He whips Orton into the opposite turnbuckle and clotheslines him against the corner. He covers for a two count.

Kane with a chin lock submission. Orton fights out of it, but Kane drives a knee into him. He whips Orton into the turnbuckle again and charges at him, but this time Orton boots him in the face. Orton goes for an axe handle smash, but Kane grabs him and drops him with a side slam for a two count. Kane climbs the turnbuckle, waits for Orton to get up and hits a clothesline off the top. Kane signals for the chokeslam. Orton turns around and quickly dropkicks Kane down. Both Orton and Kane are out on the mat while their partners reach for the tag. Orton and Kane make their way to their respective corners. A tag is made to Bryan, and a tag is made to Sheamus. Sheamus runs and knocks Bryan down with a forearm clothesline. Bryan gets up, and Bryan gets knocked down again. This happens a third time, and Bryan staggers into a turnbuckle allowing Sheamus to clothesline him against it and then deliver clubbing blows to the back. Sheamus pulls Bryan out of the corner and hits the Irish Curse backbreaker. Kane enters the ring and tries to stop Sheamus, but Sheamus ducks the attack and Orton greets him with a punch to the head. Orton and Sheamus double team on Kane before they clothesline him out of the ring. Orton exits the ring and goes for a RKO, but Kane catches him and shoves him head first into the turnbuckle post. Meanwhile, Sheamus signals for the Brogue Kick. He steps back and goes to knock Bryan’s head off, but AJ suddenly steps into the ring and pleads with Sheamus to not hurt him. The referee gets AJ out of the ring and Sheamus goes for the kick, but Bryan has had enough time to recover and he ducks the kick causing Sheamus’ leg to get caught on the top rope. Kane jumps up on the apron, grabs Sheamus by the neck and chokeslams him. Bryan goes over to Sheamus and covers him for the three count.

[Winners via Pinfall: Kane & Daniel Bryan]

Bryan celebrates in the ring with his title while AJ cheers him on from the outside.

A clip is shown from last year’s WrestleMania between John Cena and The Miz for the WWE Championship. Rock enters the ring and hits Cena with the Rock Bottom as retribution for Cena hitting him with the Attitude Adjustment a week earlier. This allows Miz to pick up the win.

-Commercial Break-

Back from break, and Michael Cole is in the ring wearing a “Team Johnny” t-shirt.

Cole asks for everyone’s attention. He is so excited, so thrilled. Moments ago he was named the official commentator for Team Johnny at WrestleMania. And now he would like to introduce the man who, after WrestleMania, will be the General Manager of both Raw and Smackdown: Mr. John Laurinaitis.

Laurinaitis appears on stage.

He thanks Cole, and then announces the official flag bearer for Team Johnny, Vickie Guerrero.

Vickie comes out waving a big Team Johnny flag.

He says it’s also his pleasure to introduce his team captain at this Sunday’s twelve man tag, and the only WWE Superstar with a Harvard Law degree, David Otunga!

David comes out and poses for a bit before heading to the ring for a match.

Booker T climbs up on the announce table and grabs a microphone.

Ladies and gentlemen, let him introduce to you the man who is going to send John Laurinaitis back to his little office cubicle…Teddy Long!

Long appears on stage.

Long says allow him to introduce the captain for his team that will lead them to victory, Santino Marella!

Santino appears and heads to the ring. Hornswoggle appears with him while waving a giant Team Teddy flag. Santino enters the ring as Otunga’s opponent.

Match #2

[Santino Marella vs. David Otunga]
[Singles Match]

The bell sounds. Santino catches Otunga in a side headlock. Otunga shoves Santino into the ropes and knocks him down with a shoulder tackle. Santino gets right back up and runs the ropes again, but once more Otunga knocks Santino down with a shoulder tackle. Santino tries one more time. Otunga goes for the shoulder tackle, but this time Santino ducks under Otunga and hits a drop toe hold that sends Otunga down. Santino with a guillotine choke submission, but Otunga quickly gets back up. Santino punches Otunga into the corner. He whips Otunga into the opposite turnbuckle, but Otunga counters and sends him towards the turnbuckle instead. Santino grabs the ropes and leaps back expecting Otunga to get in front of him, but Otunga stays behind and knocks Santino down with a running forearm to the back. Otunga then takes the flag from Vickie and waves it around in the ring. Hornswoggle then enters the ring and starts waving the Team Teddy flag in front of Otunga. Otunga hands his flag back to Vickie, then grabs Hornswoggle’s flag and tries to hit him with it. Hornswoggle exits the ring and the flag bounces off the top rope smacking Otunga in the face. Otunga drops the flag and turns right into an awaiting Santino who strikes with The Cobra. Santino covers for the three count.

[Winner via Pinfall: Santino Marella]

Teddy enters the ring and celebrates with Santino. Laurinaitis then enters the ring, grabs Teddy’s flag and tosses it back down. Laurinaitis yells at the referee and Teddy. Santino gets behind Laurinaitis and gets on his hands and knees. Teddy then shoves Laurinaitis and he falls over Santino. Laurinaitis gets up and takes his jacket off in anger. Laurinaitis gets in Teddy’s face and Santino sets up to hit him with The Cobra, but Miz suddenly enters the ring and hits Santino with the Skull Crushing Finale. Teddy exits the ring and Laurinaitis asks for a microphone.

He congratulates Miz on being part of Team Johnny. He’s going to WrestleMania!

Miz, Otunga, Vickie, and Laurinaitis celebrate in the ring.

Later tonight, CM Punk takes on Christian.

Up next, a video recap of the HHH/Taker Match at WrestleMania

-Commercial Break-

Back from break, and we get another Rock/Cena related vignette. We see the confrontation between both men the night after WrestleMania 27, and the challenge is made for WrestleMania 28.

Next up is a fantastic video that shows the history of both Undertaker and Triple H, the meaning of their match, plus the addition of Shawn Michaels as the special referee.

Eve comes out and heads to the ring along with Beth Phoenix. Eve heads to the ring to face Kelly Kelly one on one.

-Commercial Break-

Back from break, and Kelly Kelly comes out as Eve’s opponent. She heads into the ring.

Match #3

[Eve vs. Kelly Kelly]
[Singles Match]

The bell sounds. Eve goes to attack, but Kelly ducks and Eve hits the turnbuckle. Eve turns around and Kelly trips her down. She grabs Eve’s legs and flips into a bridging pin for a two count. Eve gets right back up and kicks Kelly down. Eve gets on top of Kelly and bangs her head against the mat a few times. She then slams her head against a turnbuckle pad. Eve shows off Kelly to Beth. Even then climbs up the turnbuckle and pulls Kelly up by the neck, choking her out as the referee counts Eve out. Eve lets go, hops down and covers Kelly for a two count. She then applies a combination chin lock/arm lock submission. Kelly fights out of it and gets back up, but Eve drives a knee into her. She then whips Kelly into the ropes and goes for a clothesline, but Kelly ducks, bounces off the ropes and hits Eve with a spinning headscissors takedown. Eve falls into a turnbuckle, and Kelly jumps on her with a volley of punches. Eve shoves her off. Eve climbs to the top and goes for a moonsault off the top, but Kelly rolls out of the way and covers her for the three count.

[Winner via Pinfall: Kelly Kelly]

Kelly exits the ring quickly while Beth enters the ring and tends to Eve.

We get another Cena/Rock moment. It’s their tag team match at last November’s Survivor Series against Miz and R-Truth. Rock picks up the win for his team, then Rock Bottoms Cena.

Cut to backstage. WWE Champion CM Punk is heading to the ring for his match with Christian.

-Commercial Break-

We’re back, and Justin Roberts introduces Christian. Christian appears and heads to the ring sporting a “Team Johnny” shirt.

CM Punk comes out next. He heads to the ring as Christian’s opponent.

Match #4

[CM Punk vs. Christian]
[Singles Match]

Before the match can start, Chris Jericho appears on the TitanTron and interrupts Punk’s entrance.

Jericho says that he claims to be the best in the world, but we know it’s not true. At WrestleMania he’s going to beat him and become the new WWE Champion. And he’s going to expose him for the fraud that he is one and for all. Not just as a professional fraud, but as a personal fraud. He already exposed all the dirty secrets about his dysfunctional family. His father is an alcoholic and his sister has problems with substance abuse. But he also found out new information that’s come to light. He’s done some digging and found facts about his mother. But it turns out his mother’s actually a kind, decent woman with no vices. Who would have thought that? Congratulations Punk, there’s finally someone in his family who’s not an embarrassment. But he did find out one little piece of interesting information. His parent’s wedding date actually took place AFTER his birth date. So that makes him the legal definition…of a bastard.

Punk stares at Jericho, anger in his eyes, allowing Christian to attack him from behind. Christian stomps away at Punk and drives a foot into his neck. Christian with punches to the head, but the match never officially started and the referee is trying to get Christian to stop. Christian then grabs Punk and tosses him out of the ring. Christian exits the ring and goes after him, but Punk is able to kick him down. He then grabs punch, carries him over to the announce table and slams his head into it over and over and over and over and over again. He then roundhouse kicks Christian in the back of the head knocking him down. Punk grabs Christian and drives an elbow into his chest numerous times. He then grabs the ring steps and pulls them away from the turnbuckle. Punk grabs Christian, lifts him up over his shoulder and drops him face first on the top step. He then applies the Anaconda Vice to Christian, and he refuses to let go as referee comes out to try and stop him. Punk eventually lets go and goes to walk away with the ref, but he suddenly runs up the steps, jumps back down on Christian and punches him repeatedly before applying the Anaconda Vice again. He keeps the submission hold applied for a few more seconds before finally letting go. After the replay, Punk is left standing in the ring holding the WWE Championship over his head, anger clearly written all over his face.

[No Contest. Match Never Started]

-Commercial Break-

Back from break, and we’re told that due to the attack by Punk, Christian may have re-injured his neck.

“Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay comes out. He heads to the ring for his match.

Curt Hawkings, already at ringside, gets in the ring.

Match #5

[Brodus Clay vs. Curt Hawkings]

The bell sounds. Brodus starts shaking his money maker. Curt runs towards him and Brodus knocks him down with a clothesline. Brodus whips Hawkings into the ropes and goes for another clothesline, but Hawkings ducks, spins around, and dives towards Brodus’ leg knocking him off his feet. Hawkings lands a few punches, runs and hits a bulldog for a one count. Hawkings off the ropes again, and this time Brodus catches him with a headbutt to the chest. He whips Hawkings into the ropes and drives a fist into his stomach. He then hits a running knee followed by a T-Bone suplex. Brodus runs the ropes and hits a body splash for the three count.

[Winner via Pinfall: Brodus Clay]

Brodus celebrates by dancing with his girls.

We get another Rock/Cena moment. We get a clip from a month ago when Cena gave his promo saying that he doesn’t respect Rock for leaving to go to Hollywood. April 1st means everything to him because he’s fighting for ever person whose dream was to be a WWE superstar and STAY a WWE superstar.

The two will meet one last time before WrestleMania later tonight.

-Commercial Break-

Back from break, and Big Show is heading to the ring for a match.

A clip is shown of last week when Cody Rhodes handcuffed Big Show and attacked Big Show with boxing gloves.

The WWE Tag Team Champions Primo and Epico come out along with Rosa Mendes. Primo will be facing Show.

Match #6

[Big Show vs. Primo]
[Singles Match]

The bell sounds. Show attacks right away by kicking Primo and clubbing him in the back. He has Primo in the corner and chops smacks him in the chest. He then tosses Primo across the ring. Show picks Primo back up and punches him in the gut.

Cole gives breaking news that Christian has been medically ruled out of the Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy match at WrestleMania and will have to be replaced.

Meanwhile, Show whips Primo into the opposite turnbuckle. He runs forward and Primo catches him with a boot to the face. Primo climbs to the top of the turnbuckle. Show hits him with a chop to the chest on the way down. Primo gets back up and Show catches him with a chokeslam for the three count.

[Winner via Pinfall: Big Show]

Afterwards, Rosa tries to distract Show while Epico attacks Show from behind. It doesn’t phase him. Show turns around and chokeslams Epico.

Chode Rhodes then comes out with a microphone. Show goes to leave the ring, but Cody stops him.

He says it’s not like he’s going to catch him. That would be like a giant water buffalo running down a cheetah, it doesn’t happen. Besides, they have their time. Specifically this Sunday, specifically WrestleMania. Does that word scare him? The showcase of the immortals? Where the biggest stars shine on the biggest stage, and time after time he fails. There’s this wonderful quote “It’s in the nature of ever person to error, but only a fool perseveres in error.” With that said, here’s what’s going to happen after their match. They’re going to take his name and make it a verb. Students are going to pray that they don’t “Big Show” on their finals. Young men going to the bar are hoping they don’t “Big Show” with the ladies. And even better…i’ve gotta take a “Big Show”.

Show laughs, but his anger is noticeable.

Cody says he’s going to “Big Show” himself when he retains HIS Intercontinental Title on April Fool’s day. When on that day, just like every other WrestleMania…he’ll be the biggest fool of all.

Cody heads to the back leaving Show frustrated.

Coming soon, Cena and Rock face to face one more time.

-Commercial Break-

We’re back, and we get another video teaser for Lord Tensai.

Cut to backstage. The Bella twins are arguing over which team is better. Zack Ryder appears and says team Teddy has something team Johny will never have: “WOO WOO WOO! YOU KNOW IT!”

Nicki calls him a loser.

Brie says a month ago she was saying how great a guy Zack is.

Nicki says maybe she changed her mind.

Zack says maybe she should change her face.

Both Bellas leave upset with Zack (they look identical, so that’s the joke).

Ryder is left alone, but then Eve walks over to him.

Ryder says he’s been looking for her all day. What he said to her on Smackdown came out wrong.

Eve says she forgives him. She’s been really worked up about her WrestleMania match and took it out on the wrong person. She then asks what hotel he’s staying at in Miami during WrestleMania.

Ryder says he’s staying with the rest of team Teddy.

Eve says she was hoping he would stay at her hotel.

Ryder asks if she’s serious and goes for a kiss. Eve blocks him.

She says after WrestleMania, it’ll be time to celebrate.

She leaves, and Ryder looks satisfied.

Cut to another part of the backstage area. Josh Matthews is with CM Punk.

Josh asks Punk about what Jericho said earlier, but Punk interrupts him.

Punk says he’s gonna ask him what his thoughts are about his mother. He supposes he wants to know his thoughts on his father, his sister? He wants to know how he feels? Go ask Christian how he feels. He’s not off limits, but his family, as far as he’s concerned, is. Jericho can call him whatever he wants, and what he said about his father, Punk admitted it, but the family is in a much better place. His sister is off limits. What he said is a complete fabrication. And what he said about his mother is not only reprehensible, but a total lie. He is not a bastard. He is the best wrestler in the world.

Cut to the hallway. Kahli and Mark Henry are heading to the ring for a match.

-Commercial Break-

We’re back, and Mark Henry comes out along with John Laurinaitis. He heads to the ring for his match.

Great Kahli comes out along with Teddy. He heads to the ring.

Match #7
[The Great Kahli vs. Mark Henry]
[Singles Match]

The bell sounds. Henry gets distracted by Teddy which allows Kahli to attack him with punches against the turnbuckle. Kahli with elbows to the head followed by a chop across the chest. Henry gets out of the corner, kicks Kahli and heads into the ropes, but Kahli catches him with an overhead chop that knocks him down. Kahli waits for Henry to get up and grabs him by the neck with both arms, but Henry counters it by lifting Kahli up and dropping him with the World’s Strongest Slam for the three count.

[Winner via Pinfall: Mark Henry]

Henry looks over at Teddy and yells that that’s how it’s going to be. Teddy tries to respond, but Laurinaitis then grabs Teddy from behind and throws him into the ring. Teddy turns around to yell at Laurinaitis, but soon he realizes that Henry is breathing down the back of his neck. The rest of Team Johnny, along with new members Drew McIntyre (who replaced Christian) and Miz. They stand in front of the ring while Henry threatens to hurt Teddy. Soon members of Team Teddy come running down the ramp. Santino and Zack Ryder attack the Laurinaitis team, but are quickly outnumbered. R-truth comes running down and jumps into the whole group knocking a few down. Then Kofi Kingston runs down, hops into the ring, and goes for a springboard cross body, but Henry catches him and hits him with World’s Strongest Slam. Henry grabs Teddy and lifts him up. He’s about to go for a third World’s Strongest Slam, but Booker T suddenly steps into the ring and attacks Henry. He then runs the ropes and connects with an axe kick that takes Henry down.

All of team Teddy enters the ring while Teddy grabs a microphone.

He says he’d like to publicly thank him for helping him out. But the best way for him to say thank you is to invite him to join Team Teddy at WrestleMania.

Booker says he’s just got one thing to say to that: NOW CAN YOU DIG THAT, SUCKA!

Booker takes off his suit jacket and does the spinarooni. Teddy gives him a Team Teddy T-shirt and Booker holds it up for the fans to see.

We get the final Rock/Cena moment. It’s a clip of last week on Raw when Cena faced Henry and beat him with the Attitude Adjustment. Rock then comes out and gives Henry the Rock Bottom in front of Cena before leaving.

Up next, Cena faces Rock one last time.

-Commercial Break-

Back from our final break of the show. The Rock comes out. He heads to the ring and grabs a microphone.

2004, WrestleMania 20. He competed in what many thought would be his last WrestleMania match ever. Every day since then, people have been asking “When ya coming back, Rock?” Everywhere Rock went. Restaurants, airports. Rock walking every street around the world. Rock goes in for his yearly check up and they tell Rock “go ahead, drop your pants, turn your head and cough, but when you’re coming back?” Rock says he doesn’t know when he’s coming back, and he’s not dropping his pants, for God’s sake he’s his dentist! Rock’s got a freaky dentist. Hollywood starlets throw themselves at The Rock saying “Hey Rock, why don’t you come here and dominate some of his delicious pie? But first, you gotta tell me when you’re coming back!” He doesn’t know when he’s coming back, and for the love of God cover that thing up, Betty White! Trying to give Rock a piece of that Civil War pie. Asking The Rock when he’s coming back, for seven year he didn’t know…until last year when Rock went down to Georgia. Rock walked into the Georgia Dome, 80,000 blew off the roof when Rock dropped The Rock Bottom heard round the world. That’s when he knew the wait was over. The next night, in this very arena, the match was set. Make no mistake about it, history was made that night because of them. In six days, finally The Rock returns to the grandest stage. He returns to doing what he does best, electrifying the audience. It all started here, and FINALLY The Rock has come back to Atlanta!

There’s only one man who the people wanted to see Rock face. Only one man who the millions (and millions) of Rock’s fans want to see him face this Sunday, and that man is John Cena. Cena, at Rock’s last WrestleMania he competed it, that show was also Cena’s first. Since then, he’s become one of the biggest stars this company will ever see. But he has never, and Rock means EVER, faced someone like The Rock. Let him tell you what’s gonna happen on Sunday. Rock’s-

Cena comes out and interrupts Rock. He heads down to the ring and grabs a microphone.

Does he hear that?

The fans give their mixed reactions.

He’s been knocked around a bit, but even he can hear that. He doesn’t need a crystal ball to know that that’s what’s going to happen at WrestleMania. Nothing new to him. Happens all the time. Rock said he would never see anything like The Rock. Ahh…his movie star arch nemesis. As usual he’s only half right. He will never see anything like John Cena. Because for a year now he’s heard the best trash talk from the best trash talker, the man who defined the Attitude era. But here he is, like every single night, happy to be here with a smile on his face. Here’s why. He talks trash, he’s the best at it, but he’s not the first.

“Fruity Pebbles chant.”

Like he said, he’s not the first. When he left, there was a ten year gap, and when anyone wanted to make a name for himself and rattle the cage, there was one person who got thrown into the meat grinder, one guy who got served to the wolves, and that was him. Listen and think about it. How many people have talked trash about John Cena? The list is as long and distinguished as the people’s strudel, or whatever he’s calling his penis.

“Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks” chant.

You see? You see, just like he cannot deny the certain moment of electricity when Rock enters the arena, he cannot look past the pure emotion that happens every time he enters a ring. Don’t believe him? He can sum it up in five words: Let’s go Cena…Cena Sucks. Let’s go Cena…Cena Sucks. Let’s go Cena…Cena Sucks. Words he has heard for years. An audience divide, sometimes hostile. And in every other situation like this, every single superstar including Rock has turned their back on the WWE Universe, and that’s what makes this unique. Finally there’s someone with a set of ideals and an unfaltering resolve that simply just does what the T-Shirt says. He rises above and he wins.

That’s the thing that gets them. Those guys who give their best physically, verbally, they think they got him, but nope. He rises above and wins. Although some people here tonight hate that, they know what he knows, that he’s going to win at WrestleMania. They hate it, but they know as sure as he does. Just for kicks, allow him to throw some more truth in his trash. Does he know that he’s been active longer than him? Rock blew up in the Attitude Era, WWE could do no wrong. Then Rock came back as a global superstar, unbelievable prosperity. He’s had great moments, but he was also here when it wasn’t so cool to be a WWE Superstar. Even in the good and bad times, he beats the company drum loud saying he’s proud of what he does, and this is what he loves. This is what he loves. So many people say that that it’s cliche, but after ten years of doing it, regardless of his character, they know he means it. That’s why he HAS to win. After WrestleMania life goes on for The Rock. Rock will be starring in G.I. Joe. Summer blockbuster, he’s playing Roadblock, and it’ll launch him into a new atmosphere of super-stardom. After WrestleMania, his office doesn’t change. This is still his life. The past year, they’ve said a lot of stuff, and he’s comfortable saying this to his face. He’ll be God damned if he comes in as a visitor, no matter how good he is, and takes his life from him. Ten years, and everyone knows he’s just getting started. He risked his health every single night. Nobody remembers the effort, nobody remembers second place. That’s why he can’t lose, that’s why he has to win. They know he has to win. They know he has to win this match more than anything in his entire life.

Rock says he knows how important this match is to him. It’s just as important to him. He talked about what the people know. Here’s the first thing they know. They know that the Rock ain’t no God Damn visitor. His “office”, the WWE house, The Rock helped build it. They know that he’s never before had an opponent he couldn’t overcome…before The Rock. They know that for him it’s more than just the biggest match of all time. They know that The Rock, The People’s Champion, has come back to beat him. That’s what drives him. Never before has a man been able to say that he’s walked into WrestleMania, beat Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and John Cena. On a professional level, Rock needs to beat him to become the greatest WWE Superstar of all time. On a personal level, he just doesn’t like him. Because of that, in six day, not only is Rock gonna beat him, but Rock’s gonna give him the ass kicking of a lifetime! He knows it, Rock knows it, and he can bet that they know it too.

Rocky chants.

Cena says fine speech. He’s glad he thinks that way. This fits-it doesn’t MATTER what he thinks. He’s gonna put this in terms that he can understand. He has seen this movie a thousand times, and he knows how it ends. He’s been the guy he can’t see, but he’ll see him plain as day. He’ll be the guy with his hand held high, standing over his carcass, and the headline will read what he predicted: John Cena whips The Rock’s ass at WrestleMania!

Rock and Cena stare each other down as the show comes to an end.