By Kevin LaRose for WrestlingObserver.com
Brie and Nikki are in a historic hotel in Buffalo. Nikki says she is going to stay in Phoenix but Brie says she can’t stay with her because Nikki is too needy. John Cena, in a flashback, calls her a “needy monster.” Nikki has to stay alone in her mom’s giant house.
Backstage, everyone is touching Rosa. She is distressed that Bobby, the father of her unborn child, is an atheist. She hasn’t told her Christian mom yet. They’ve been dating for six months. Paige burps and apologizes to Rosa. Rosa says its ok, it smells good. Paige is worried because something bad happened on social media. Fox is upset, too.
Carrano is going to be pissed. Everyone is watching John Cena’s match. Nikki is freaking out because Cena broke his nose. Cena is still wrestling. Fox is talking to Rosa about Carrano who has been doing damage control for the social media problem. After all the fuss, Fox thinks it’s time for a lifestyle change.
Nattie is worried about Cena so she comes over to his house to drink wine with Nikki. Nikki tells Nattie that even though she’s fearless in the ring she has a lot of fear outside the ring.
*****
In Tulsa, OK, Fox tells everyone they are going to start a lifestyle change this weekend. She forces Paige to swear that they are not going to get into trouble.
At a red carpet event for WWE 2k16, a British journalist asks Nikki about John Cena’s nose.
In a car, Rosa is with Bobby the atheist. She tells him she is going to make pasta primavera, and he says that’s too much. She reminds him that he asked for a crazy girl. He’s excited to be a father. They’ve named the baby Jordan. Bobby says not to buy kale. His father doesn’t like kale. Rosa asks Bobby to pretend not to be an atheist. He won’t pretend. Bobby doesn’t want Jordan to get baptized and Rosa does.
I’m starting to worry that the Divas aren’t going to any nice restaurants this episode.
In a car, Fox and Paige are going to a furniture store. Paige asks to get food. Finally, they make it to a nice restaurant. Paige orders some drinks and Fox is upset because she wants to have a lifestyle change this weekend. Paige orders more drinks and tells the waiter she likes to go to karaoke and she wants to play bingo. The waiter tells her about dirty bingo. Fox is pissed but doesn’t say anything because she enjoys being self-righteously angry.
Meanwhile in Rosa’s life, she asks Bobby to baby proof the house. He reminds her that the baby isn’t coming for another 5 months. She wants to baby proof the house to impress Bobby the atheist’s dad. She hired a caterer to make dinner so she can pretend she did it.
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Paige arrives at dirty bingo, but it’s just regular bingo. All the old guys are hitting on Paige and Fox. Paige is having fun flirting with all the old guys. Fox is not. At all. She’s frustrated because the furniture store is closing.
Brie and Nikki are checking into a nice hotel. Nikki wants to stay in the same room, but Brie needs some personal space. Nikki does not react well to the boundaries that Brie is attempting to set.
Bobby and his dad arrive at Rosa’s house and everything is going great with the parents. They make small talk, but then Rosa’s mom asks Bobby to pray. He tells her that he doesn’t pray. Everyone looks around the room nervously.
*****
Rosa says a prayer, while everyone but Bobby touches hands.
In a Florida bar, Fox complains that they didn’t go to the furniture store. She’s fed up and leaves the bar.
Back in Rosa’s apartment, Rosa asks Bobby’s dad if he likes fajitas. He doesn’t. Please also remember that Bobby’s dad also doesn’t like kale. Hopefully you will be able to use this information at some point in your life. Rosa’s mom wants the baby to be baptized. Bobby tries to explain that he doesn’t. He leaves the room. Rosa calms Bobby down and they come back in the house Rosa’s mom leaves. Bobby’s dad tells Rosa everything is going to be ok.
Nikki barges into Brie’s hotel room. Brie is pissed. She kicks the cameras out. She kicks Nikki out. Nikki doesn’t understand boundaries and tells Brie she hates her.
Back in Orlando, Paige returns home. Fox is mad. She tells Paige she’s mad because she is taking this lifestyle change seriously, and she needs support. Paige is sorry, she’s not ready to settle down, but she should have gone to the furniture store and not bingo.
In the hotel, Nikki asks Nattie if she can sleep with her. Nattie is lying in bed in full make-up. Nikki talks about how she is so frightened at night and has nightmares. Nikki admits she is terrified of death. Nattie thinks it’s because she didn’t have a father figure after her grandfather died. All this Cena injury stuff is triggering her old fears.
*****
To make up for yesterday, Paige decides to take Fox to a taxidermy stuff. Fox loves taxidermy stuff. They buy a horned animal skull and Fox is so stoked.
Backstage, Nattie tells Brie she got a psychic reading. Mr. Belding from “Saved By The Bell” comes up and gives Nattie a hug. Nattie tells Brie about all the dark stuff Nikki was saying last night She’s worried. Brie tells her it’s nothing. Nattie doesn’t think it’s nothing. Now Brie is worried.
In Phoenix, Brie invites Nikki over. She ask, “Why are you so anxious?” Nikki tells her she’s worried about death because of her grandfather dying. Brie had no idea Nikki was hurting so much. Brie feels bad, Nikki says she should feel bad. Brie realizes she’s been unfair to her sister. They talk about the Disney Channel.
And that’s all! I’ll leave it to greater philosophers than I to break down the very rich symbolic depictions of life and death as represented in this episode by Nikki’s fear of death, the taxidermy skull bought by Paige and Fox, and the coming birth of Rosa’s child, the baby Jordan. The brightest minds of this generation received an intellectual gift tonight, one whose magnificence will not be fully understood for several lifetimes.
Spoiler alert…